Are Friends and Family Using Your House As A Storage Unit?

Are you a Mum, Dad, even sister, brother or friend whose home has become a storage unit for someone else’s things?

I know I have been over the years: when a friend split from her husband and found herself homeless (although leaving her chocolate Labrador with me as well was a bit beyond the pale); when one son went to live with his dad and the other went off to University; when a German friend’s daughter left her University things stored with me whilst she travelled for a year. These didn’t seem too onerous at the time (apart from the dog, of course, but she was adorable anyway).

But I’ve also been guilty of using my mother’s place the same way over the years, stuffing her attic full of childhood toys I couldn’t part with, University books and notes (ditto), and even fashion magazines I’d created in my teens. (Evidence of the latter has been destroyed, before you ask!) And I have a certain guilt about an enormous teddy bear fur coat that’s currently taking up almost half a wardrobe in my sister’s home.

That’s probably more information than you need about me or my life and possessions, but they serve to show that we can all be guilty of turning other people’s homes (usually, but not always, Mum and Dad’s) into unofficial storage?

It usually starts out very well intentioned. ‘Just leaving a few things here until I get my own place’, for example, or insisting that just because you’re off at University you still want a room.

But after years, the question needs to be asked – “if you haven’t come for all this ‘stuff’ after all this time, do I really need it in my home?”, especially if space is getting tighter as we all start to do more, including working, in our homes.

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Broaching the subject

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Your home needn't be free storage space for kids, friends or family - even for a business – forever. It’s first and foremost your space and somewhere you should feel at ease, which is harder if there’s a lot of someone else’s clutter around.

So it’s entirely fair to broach the subject. Only you know how the conversation will be received, so think your strategy carefully. Over a drink by the fire may work for some. For others, something written is the only way to get through, especially if you’ve been asking for a while.

What do you need the space for?

·         A home office?

·         A spare room for guests to stay?

·         Space to store your own things in the attic?

·         Redecoration?

·         Space for a home gym?

·         Garage conversion?

·         Getting ready to downsize?

Knowing what your own plans are helps you to articulate exactly what the issue is, and may even gain you an extra pair of helping hands.

Similarly, accepting the emotional issues that asking someone to move their things may raise will help you deal with the situation sensitively. For example, a child who’s just left home may be upset that there is no longer a room for them at home.  

Strategies might include:

·         Making it clear that that’s not the case (assuming it’s not, of course), that they deserve an adult room to come home to;

·         Keep a few concessionary items in the room – a favourite toy or picture, for example. Something that makes you both smile;

·         Put up a photo or two of them growing up reassuring them that  you’re still thinking of them;

·         You may be hanging onto things thinking, or hoping, that your child may want them in future. From first hand experience, I can promise that my old wooden tennis racket will never be used again. Should I suddenly decide to become the next up on Henman Hill, I’ll need something considerably more modern. Ditto my heavy old hockey stick. The children’s hockey sticks are beautiful, colourful, and lightweight. If it’s something timeless like a musical instrument, let them choose its fate. Acknowledging your part in any clutter problem, and a good dose of humour about it,  may take away some of the sting.

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What’s in your way?

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You may have become a makeshift, unofficial storage unit for photos, clothes, children’s toys, collectors cards etc. There’s an emotional tie to many of these things.

Ask the ‘storer’ (or hoarder) to help you sort things through. There’s every chance they’d rather do it themselves, in which case arm yourself with four boxes: store, sell, charity shop, bin.

Come to an arrangement over what happens to each box before starting. For example the ‘store’ box may be kept with them, or with you but in a different way, like pretty hat boxes or a chest of drawers bought for the purpose. It’s not unreasonable to aske the ‘storer’ to fund the purchases of these things.

Alternatively, you may choose a self storage option, so that the storer gets to keep their things, but you are no longer encumbered. If you choose this option, who pays, and for how long?

The ‘Sell’ box is trickier. Get them to sell their own things wherever possible may avoid later problems or misunderstandings.

Be brutal with yourselves over the ‘Charity’ box. If you don’t think you can sell it, don’t expect a charity shop too. Pink teddy with the missing eye and floppy ear may look cute to you and bring back happy memories, but to them it will be just that. A pink teddy with missing parts.  

Which leaves just the ‘Bin’ box to address: don’t forget to recycle as well as throw out. Judge your success by the size of the Bin and Charity boxes. They’re a clear indication of a healthy declutter.

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A more gradual approach

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Hands up! It’s been harder for me than it is  for them to get rid of my children’s toys and pictures and photos and…. well, you get the picture.

Going through the trunks or boxes can seem like an enormous task, and be repeatedly put off. In this case, try a small box at a time, filling it when they visit to sort out, or taking it to their home for sorting.  (Task yourself with returning home empty handed!)

It takes more time, but also gives you time to reminisce with the storer, be they friends or family.

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The ‘shock delivery’ option

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You pack up everything that’s been left and deliver it back to them.

This option is by far the riskiest when emotions are involved. Of course, the storer may ask you to do just this, in which case, happy days.

But if the situation is out of control, and you need to use surprise tactics, just remember that they’ve held onto these things for a reason, so you making judgement calls on what’s ‘rubbish’ is uncalled for. Treat everything with respect, pack it up nicely, and return it all in as good order as you can.

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Hold firm

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Remember:

·         You are asking them to clear their things for a reason, to make space for your own dreams and plans in your own home;

·         You don’t want belongings to slip back into your space. Try and find solutions together if taking their belongings is inconvenient for them;

·         You have a right to your own space. If you can’t take their things any more, and neither can they, perhaps it’s time for a storage unit;

·         It doesn’t have to be traumatic. Going down ‘Memory Lane’ can be fun, and a great excuse to get your offspring to visit a little more frequently to help you sort things out.

·         You’re doing them a favour. If you leave it there forever, they’ll still have to sort it after your funeral – without your help!

·         Deadlines are your friend.

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Here to help

If you need cheap self storage, collected from you, returned to you and maybe even packed and loaded, easyStorage is here to help and you can get a quote any time day or night via our website: https://book.easystorage.com/

And if you need boxes and packing materials, easyStorageBoxes is here to help!